How BIG Did You Say It Was?

We had the father and brother in law over for prime rib dinner one Sunday night and while I was cooking/baking I was watching the programme on television about Hoarders.

[I find it freakily fascinating. [especially since I know one personally]

When the guests  arrived I turned the telly down, not off. And the weirdest thing kept happening. I was sure I heard the words “huge penis” again and again.

Then a little while later when I went to get something from the fridge I was absolutely positive I heard “gigantic penis”… and then “huge schlong”.

I just had to go and investigate [as you would].

Sure enough, there was a programme on called “Strange Sex” and it was about a guy with a giant penis.

I told my brother in law about the programme, and how I’d thought I’d been mis-hearing things and we had a little chuckle. I am not sure he believed me – or at least thought I was exaggerating about a programme with a topic like that being on at primetime.

So then we had dinner, and the fabulous berry tart, and we were sitting in the lounge chatting about golf and hockey and the elections.

Mark, the brother in law, was fascinated by our Peruvian Rain Stick, and was showing it to the father in law. It’s a beautiful object which we bought in Hawaii.

I was pottering around in the kitchen clearing stuff away and there it was again: the programme about the huge penis! [you’ve got to love high rotate sometimes!]

I called Mark in to see – to prove that I wasn’t making it up.

“Yeah but who SAYS it’s huge –  did they actually SHOW it?” yelled Jim from the lounge just at the very moment when the announcer said “his penis is 13 and a half inches long and 8 inches round”


Mark came into the kitchen waving the rain stick.  Or Rain Schtick as they were now calling it. “You must have a tape measure” he said
I got out my tape measure.

Let me say just one thing: that guy did not have a huge penis…he had an actual WEAPON.

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